Insecured Security
by StereoFreak
Summary: With life is going downhill for both Harry and Tonks, they both try to find comfort with each other. Comfort and friendship will be found but what happens when Dumbledore doesn't want them together? Involves Dark!Harry, smart Harry, moral questioning, and Honks The story may change as it evolves, so that involves the change of the summary as well.
1. Chapter 1

Harry half heartedly threw his pen at the wall; he couldn't find the correct words to write his letter. Although this letter had to be written to ensure that they were safe and out of harms way, it was harder than expected. Who knew that finding the right words would take a toll on him? It was nothing but a damned letter!

'But then why was it so hard to write?' Thought Harry. It couldn't be the fact that this would be the third letter that he sends, right? After all, friends send each other letters all the time. So he shouldn't worry over anything, except for the fact that Ron, Hermione, and Ginny might get annoyed at him for sending letters all of the time.

'They're friends, they will understand why I need to send them letters.' He thought as he picked up the pen and began to write once again. This time everything poured out as it needed to be said. No more stopping to think or throwing of the pen. He wrote until the sun hid behind the horizon and at last, he had written his letter.

Upon seeing the completion of the letter, Hedwig made her way to Harry. She stuck out her leg and let Harry tie it securely, and once it was properly placed, Harry opened the window for her and watched her fly off into the darkness. "I hope they don't hate me for it." He murmured as the last glimpse of white disappeared into the horizon.

As soon as he closed the window, Harry made his way to bed, the exhaustion that had dragged on his emotions that day knocked him into a deep sleep.

Harry found himself in a room, where three feet away from him, The Mirror of Erised stood. He stared at the mirror, expecting his parents to appear behind him as they had done many years ago, yet nothing happened.

Confused, Harry looked around the room. The place was the same room that the mirror had been back in Hogwarts. The furniture around him had a thin layer of dust on top that had not been there before. New furniture was added and some had been taken away, but apart from that, nothing much had changed. Suddenly, a sharp noise came from the mirror's direction. Startled, Harry turned to it and examined it once more.

In the mirror, he was there, but not the him that was out in the room, it was another version of him that resided within. The Harry in the mirror wore a button black shirt with a dark grey hoodie, some navy blue pants and pitch black shoes. He wore no glasses to hide his piercing green eyes that stared into Harry's equally green eyes.

At this point, Harry was feeling unnerved. Ron had once told him that he had seen himself in the mirror, but the reflection had not held the malice that the Harry in the mirror displayed. It felt detaching and wrong. As weirded out as he felt, he knew that someone would start off the confrontation, so why not do it on his terms in order to regain some footing.

"What do you want?' He finally asked. The reflection smirked, "I just want the best for you."

Ok, that was really unsettling.

"Who are you?" the reflection's smirk widened.

"I'm you. Or at least the you that you know you can be."

"What does that even mean?" Asked Harry.

"You know what I mean, Potter. I'm more confident, more courageous, and smarter than you. You want revenge on Lestrange. I can get that revenge. You want the girl. I can get the girl. So stop messing around and start knowing what's up, and LET ME FREE!"

Albus Dumbledore sat before the fireplace as he read the letter that had just arrived from Harry.

'Dear Ron, Hermione, and Ginny

It's been a few weeks since we last saw each other on the train back from Hogwarts and I miss you all. These last couple of days have been terrible for me.

My scar keeps on hurting everytime Voldemort gains a new follower and I can see into his mind everytime I fall asleep. He taunts me with the death of Sirius and as of recently he has used all of you as taunts against me. I know these are only hallucinations but I can't help but be worried about you all. especially since I was the one who dragged you all into this mess in the first place.

Sincerely, Harry Potter'

Albus folded the letter and threw it at the hungry fire. The flames devoured the parchment completely leaving nothing behind, not even ash.

"Fawks, come forth, I need you to make a delivery for me."

Harry awoke unnerved that morning. His head hurt and he was covered in a thin layer of cold sweat. He didn't know why he had that dream when all the dreams(more like nightmares, really) all had involved his friends. This was something he would have to ask Dumbledore about.

"Don't ask the old man" a familiar voice replied from nowhere.

"Where are you?" Asked Harry as he rolled off his bed and reached for his wand. "I'm armed," he warned.

"Weapons won't do anything to me, especially since I am in your head." The voice replied once more.

Scared now, Harry surveyed the whole room as his hand started shaking. "Damn," he whispered to himself, "who are you?"

"Oh Harry, we just talked in your dream." The voice replied as it appeared next to him.

No, no no no, not here. Not here, anything but in real life. "H-how did you follow me into the real world?"

"I followed you because I am you." replied the Harry from his dream. The dream Harry moved closer to the real Harry, causing goosebumps to race all the way to his neck.

"Let's have some fun."

Nymphadora Tonks plopped down on her bed as she cried silently. Why didn't anyone like her? She has tried to be friendly with everyone she has met, yet they all push her aside and treat her like a thing for sex. It was unfair and dehumanizing, and because she won't let herself be used, no one likes her. Well, maybe except for the Order. They seem to like her for who she is.

"But you are useless to them. You are clumsy and stupid, you can't get anything right." She muttered to herself. "You are always falling and giving away your location, if it wasn't for that stupid charmed necklace of stealth then you wouldn't even be an Auror much less alive."

More tears fell from her eyes. "Damnit." She sobbed, the truthfulness of her own words causing her more emotional harm.

All of a sudden, in front of her, Fawkes appeared with a letter. Startled by the intrusion, Tonks tried to wipe the tears away from her face quickly but only managing to smear her mascara all over her face and sleeve.

Impatient, Fawkes dropped the letter on her bed and disappeared without any theatrics. Tonks picked up the letter and opened it.

'Dear Tonks.

I will need to request an important job of you, Nymphadora. I need you to gather Harry and bring him to The Burrow. It is of utmost importance that he arrive safely and unharmed. There has been a recent development of events which require Harry. I will contact you with more details once I let Harry know.

Sincerely Albus Dumbledore'

"Oh wonderful." She muttered, another easy assignment, babysitting and transportation. How dangerous that job was. 'Hopefully I don't get killed in the process,' she thought as she laid down on her bed, only to fall asleep a few minutes later.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning had reared its head all too soon. Little tendrils of light caressed Tonk's eyes, making her moan in despair as she tried to shut her eyes even tighter.

The sun, of course, doesn't usually tend to get weaker as the day progresses, it gets stronger, so subsequently, Tonks threw her arm over her eyes, a last ditch effort to guard her sleep. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for her.

"Nymphadora Tonks wake up!" Yelled her mother, rapping at the worn wooden door that stood between her and her daughter.

Exhausted from yesterday, Tonks grunted out a "no," and threw her blanket over her face.

Outside, her mother rolled her eyes, a habit that came naturally to her when dealing with her daughter. So she pulled out her wand and tapped the door with it. "Nymphadora, if you don't get up this instant I will curse you with boils." And with one final warning tap to the door, she marched off.

Back inside her room, Tonks dragged the blanket away from her face. She forced herself up and rubbed her eyes, the mascara from yesterday was still smudged all over it, _'good to know,_ ' she thought She'd have to wash it off before leaving for the day lest she risk further humiliation than she already suffered from her peers. She remained sitting, though, allowing her mind to boot up and her eyes to wander. And eventually, after sweeping over the room, they found themselves to her bedside table, where the note from Dumbledore lay. Her mascara covered eyes widened.

"Oh shit! Harry!"

Line Break

Harry hated this. Why was he here? Weren't dreams supposed to be just that? Dreams? Why did this one have to follow him into the real world?

"Because you need my help... desperately." His other self commented as he looked over Harry's room with a face of disgust.

Harry shook his head, despite going to one of the most academically revered schools and being best friends with the top student in their class, he had never heard of such a curse that created another version of yourself. And even if there was and he was hit by it, how could they have entered his room? He was protected by the wards placed around the house.

"There isn't such a spell, idiot. " He smirked. "And even if there was, what makes you think that they placed it on you right now? For all you know they could have placed it on you before the year ended. I don't know," He leaned against the wall. "Maybe when you recklessly fought at the Department of Mysteries? In the room full of prophecies would have been a good place to curse you. Or maybe when you got Sirius killed?"

Tears sprung up in Harry's eyes. Although he knew that he wasn't the one that killed Sirius, he couldn't help but feel that he did kill him, and it broke his heart.

"And you're right." His doppelgänger said as he moved to Harry's side.

" **You** killed Sirius Black, not Bellatrix Lestrange." A tear slid down Harry's cheek. It hurt.

"And that's why you need to accept it and move on." The other Harry said.

"You need to accept your mistake, learn from it, and move on. Wallowing in the past won't help. It won't bring him back."

Line Breighk

The commute to Harry's place wasn't a pleasant one for Tonks. Although she had gotten out of her house relatively happy, it soon turned sour as she made her way through London.

On her way, she stopped at a coffee shop that her dad recommended to her. As she was waiting in line, she spotted a pink haired girl, a shade similar to hers, kissing and giggling with her boyfriend at a table in the back. A pang of longing shot through Tonks as she stared. The old man with spectacles in front of her got his drink, a simple latte, and left. She moved up and saw the barista, a young 19 year old girl wearing a bow in her hair and a smile on her face.

"Hello, welcome to Dittle Little Coffee Emporium, what may I serve you?" The barista asked, the smile never leaving her face. How could she be so happy?

"I'll just take a black coffee," Tonks said as she turned back to the table at the back of the shop where the couple were at.

During her order, a group of friends had arrived to the table. They were all greeting each other as if they hadn't seen each other in a long time. And based off of their appearances, they looked like college students, so they might as well not have seen each other. The guy wearing a black jacket with a red button up shirt hugged the pink haired girl. Another girl, brown hair this time, was hugging the pink haired girl's boyfriend. The other two were twins, awaiting their turn for a hug.

Another pang of longing shot through her, stronger this time. **That** could be her. The girl with friends. The girl with a boyfriend. The girl who people actually liked and didn't hide their disapproval from behind masks.

Why didn't anybody like her?

"Hello?" Asked the barista, snapping her out of her thoughts. She held a cup of coffee in her outstretched hand, _'right'._

Tonks took the cup of coffee with a small "thank you," and paid the girl.

Outside the shop, she took a peak in and saw the group of friends sitting at the table. They were talking to one another, the male twin was throwing his hands around and making silly faces, making the group laugh. The pink haired girl laughed as she leaned in to her boyfriend, who in turn, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned in as well. Tonks pressed her hand against the cool glass of the window.

 _'The girl. She has everything I want. Friends, a significant other, and beauty.'_ Tonks thought to herself.

She frowned and then noticed herself in the reflection of the window. A sneer of disgust made its way onto her face. A heart shaped face, dark pools of pink stared back at her, and… pink hair, just like the happy girl with friends. She removed her hand from the window and focused her attention to her hair, she willed it into a melancholic deep purple and kept her head down as she moved along.

By the time she had arrived to Harry's house, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and her walk had lost its bounce. She just hoped that transportation would go off without a hitch.

 _'Come on, if this wasn't safe, they wouldn't have asked_ _ **you**_ _to escort him.'_ Thought Tonks as she came up on the white door. And she knew she was right. The Order never trusted her with the dangerous assignments, they opted to use Moody or Remus instead. Although she would pretend to take it in stride and make a joke that they would only smile at, it hurt that they didn't trust her. She knew that she was more useful to them than what they thought. But no one saw it. They preferred to keep her out of the loop, not even Molly would let her help out in the cooking. But now wasn't the time to be wallowing in self pity.

"Right, _just an_ _escort_ _to the burrows._ " Spat Tonks as she whipped out her wand and unlocked the door.

Line Break

"Just leave me alone," Harry pleaded.

Perched upon the old desk, the other Harry stared him down.

"Now, why would I do such a thing?" He asked, smiling. Suddenly, a serious expression glossed over his face. He gently placed his index finger upon his lips at Harry, smiled, and whispered, "company," and disappeared.

Confused, Harry looked around for him. "What?" He asked, before he heard a shuffling from downstairs. He frowned, the Dursleys were out on vacation, they wouldn't be home so soon after just leaving, and of course they wouldn't be back for him, their idea of vacation was time **away** from him, so they wouldn't be back for about two more weeks.

So, doing what any sane wizard would do, Harry reached for his wand that lay on his desk and proceeded to close the curtains. The less light, the less visibility whoever had entered the home would have.

Of course, it wouldn't be enough just closing the curtains, the sun was still up, and thanks to his luck, the room still had some considerable light in it to make it navigable, so he made way to his trunk to look for his cloak of invisibility. It would provide him with the stealth that he needed, but judging by the sound of the footsteps of the intruder, he knew he wouldn't be able to put the cloak on in time, so he dumped the idea of the cloak for a better option and hurried for the closet door.

Line Break

Tonks had been inside Harry's house only once before, and it didn't look good then, even though it had been shrouded in darkness, and it certainly didn't look good now that there was light streaming in from the windows. She caught sight of the fire mantle, which held frames of photos of the kid that looked more like a pig than a human. She noted how there wasn't any photo with Harry in it. She mused that maybe the only photo of him they had was the one in his passport.

Not only did the house look bad because of the photos of the pig that adorned the walls and the mantle, the house looked terrible in its décor.

The cream colored wallpaper with flowers in it wasn't pleasant to look at, nor was the mess of wrappers of snacks that she assumed, belonged to the son of pork senior. Nevertheless, she was here on a mission, she couldn't get sidetracked by staring at the awful house.

So she made her way up the stairs that she had gone up once before and noted that the stairs creaked even more than last time. The stairs weren't that old. Hell, the house wasn't that old, there was no indication of age except the broken bricks from Harry's window where the bars had been put in place and then ripped out. Yet again, last time she was with more people other than herself, and they were making noise due to their excitement to see Harry. Now, though, she was alone, there was no one to drown out the creaking... nor her loneliness.

 _'Damn it, stop it with your pity.'_ Said Tonks, closing her eyes.

Closing her eyes turned out to be a bad idea. Her foot caught itself on the next step, sending her crashing into the stairs.

Instantly, tears, not of pain, but of humiliation sprouted upon her eyes. _'How the fuck can I not climb stairs properly? So fucking useless.'_

Meanwhile, inside Harry's room, a smile graced his features. "Tonks!" He exclaimed, his eyes glowing green with mirth. He didn't need to see the person to know that the crash came from her. He opened the heavily locked unlocked door and made his way down the hall until he came upon the stairs.

There, he saw Tonks picking herself up from her fall. Concern took over his happiness.

"Tonks," he announced himself. She looked up, a tear running down her face. She wiped it away with her sleeve and gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Wotcher, Harry." She said as she straightened herself while dusting herself off. Her demeanor was different, noted Harry. Her eyes didn't hold the mirth that he had come to associate her with. Something was wrong with her.

It felt as if his heart twisted itself.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, climbing down the stairs to meet her.

"Well," she said as Harry hugged her. Immediately her mind jumped to the memory of the group of friends at the coffee shop and how they were all hugging each other in greeting. This was only done by friends. But she and Harry rarely ever spoke. They had only talked a few times when they were at Number 12 during the summer of last year. They had gotten to know each other very little, especially with all the hassle that was going on back then. Not to say that there wasn't any going on now, all of the Order could feel something stirring in the background, they never spoke of it but it was there, at the back of their minds and all it needed was one voicing to make it true.

"I was tasked by our lovely old Alby to bring you to the Burrow." She said, trying to regain her happy tone. She retreated from the hug and looked at him. She missed the warmth.

"Have you grown taller?"

Harry's smile returned. He missed his friends and now he was getting the chance to see Ron and Ginny again.

"Why yes, these stairs do help my growth." He joked.

A genuine smile from her met his eyes, amplifying his own.

"Come on then, don't want to keep Molly waiting. I was supposed to have tea with her." Said Tonks as she made her way up the steps, Harry following close behind. They entered his room, which, by all means was a mess.

Books were laying in random places on the floor, his trunk was open and robes and quills were bleeding from it. To say that Harry was embarrassed was the least, his face resembled a tomato.

"What a mess. But it isn't something a little magic can't fix," she said. She waved her wand and as a result, the quills and clothes all neatly organized themselves back in the trunk, the books whizzed by his head to enter the trunk as well. Parchment that was used flew into the trash while the ones that were new followed the books.

Even though he was nearing his sixth year at Hogwarts and in the magical community, Harry couldn't help but gape at the magic that was happening before him. This wasn't something he got to see everyday. The only magical thing he got to see was Dudley's impressive ability to become an Olympic class runner whenever he finished cooking dinner. He swore that he could see the air displace itself around him when he ran, or maybe that was just the pungent smell that followed him everywhere that was messing with Harry's brain.

After making sure that everything was secured in its place, Tonks waved her wand again and Harry watched as the trunk and Hedwig's cage disappeared with a pop.

"Where did they go?" Harry asked Tonks.

"Burrow."

"And where are we going?" Harry continued.

She twirled her wand, pointing it at Harry.

"Tell me Potter," she jested. Moving closer and putting it underneath his chin.

He smiled.

"Have thou eaten?"

He crinkled his nose and pointed at his frame.

"Does it look like I eat?" She frowned and lowered her wand.

He usually looked good and fed when she saw him. But now that she noticed it, he did look skinnier than before. Were the Dursleys not feeding him? She wouldn't put it past them. These people were nasty self centered slobs who couldn't care less about Harry.

"Do you not eat?" She asked. Her pink eyes drowned in concern.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, he didn't like the pity that people often gave him. Whether it be from the loss of his parents, the loss of Sirius, or the loss of his chance to be a normal kid, people always found something to pity him for. And it irritated him. **He** wasn't the one that needed the pity. It was the people who were getting killed out there by Death Eaters that needed the pity. Not him. But standing there, seeing her so concerned about him, brought something else out, too. Another feeling.

"I'm fine, I don't eat because I don't want to." He said.

When being trained to be an Auror, they teach you how to detect lying, it's the first thing that they need to know if they are going to survive, and Harry here, is a terrible liar.

"Come."

Tonks walked over to his bed and sat herself down on the hard mattress.

"Come," she repeated, patting the bed next to her.

Reluctant at the invitation, Harry's eyes wandered about as he made his way to the bed. He sat down on the uncomfortable yet familiar mattress and remained quiet.

"Is there something wrong, Harry?" Asked Tonks. Her eyes were still filled with so much concern. He **hated** that look on her, yet he couldn't do anything as another flare of warmth circulated through him.

Yes. Yes there was something wrong. Sirius is dead, he was the only family member he had alive that cared for him and now he was dead. He dreaded to even think about the life he could have had with him. Harry could have finally had the life he wanted, but all of that was robbed away from him by Bellatrix Lestrange.

He couldn't help his breathing from hitching when he thought of that _woman's_ name. A fire of rage ignited deep within Harry and he swore he could hear a whisper at the back of his mind. _'Kill her...'_

"I'm fine." He finally decided to speak.

Tonks frowned even more. Something was clearly not right with him. And if she had to guess, it was about Sirius.

"Harry. Do you not eat because of Sirius?"

A gut wrenching feeling took over him. He avoided her gaze, the wooden floor boards seemed so interesting now.

"Harry, look at me." And he did.

"Is it because of Sirius?" She repeated.

His eyes stung with unshed tears.

"Yes." He said, before the tears let themselves fall from his face.

Seeing his emotional barriers crumble, Tonks hugged him, her own eyes starting to water.

"I miss him so much." He cried, hugging her tighter.

"He- he was the only family I had. He actually cared. And now he's gone, because of me."

Damn. He didn't know why he was opening himself up. Not even Ron and Hermione got to see him like this. Around them, he was able to keep better control, but there was just something about Tonks that made him loosen up. There was something about her that made him trust her.

She retreated from the hug and wiped the tears that had fallen from her own face, a hard look on her face. "Listen, you didn't have anything to do with his death, do you understand?"

"But I did! I was the reason why he showed up. I'm the reason why he is dead. I basically killed him."

Tonks shot him a glare.

"You want to think that you killed him? Go ahead, but we both know who threw that curse at him. We both know who was the Death Eater who really killed him. What's important now is that you move on. You can't wallow in the past. Sirius wouldn't have wanted that, and we both know that."

She dropped her glare and closed her eyes as she looked away, "besides, we both know that I'm the one to blame." She barely whispered. But it was enough for Harry to hear.

This time, it was his turn to glare. "No."

She looked up, confusion brushed up on her face.

"You didn't have anything to do with his death either."

"But I was fighting Bellatrix!" She exclaimed, tears falling from her eyes.

"Had I just done more! Used the- the..."

"The what? The killing curse?" Asked Harry.

"Would you have killed Bellatrix?" Harry asked. Tonks closed her eyes and looked away.

It was clear to Harry that this had been plaguing her since the battle at the Department of Mysteries. And to be honest, it had been plaguing him too. One couldn't help but wonder, what if he had used the killing curse on her? He damn well meant to use the Cruciatus curse, and had Voldemort not interfered, he knew he would have used the Killing Curse on her. At the time he had not a single ounce of doubt in his mind, the only reason why he didn't was because **he** showed up. And it devastated him to know that Tonks had similar thoughts on using the Unforgivable Curses.

"Sirius wouldn't have wanted this." He said, wrapping his arm around her.

"Sirius would want to be alive." She also said.

He laughed. "Don't we all?" And then he became serious again.

"But he knew what he was doing when he decided to help. We all did. All we can do now is make sure that he didn't die in vain by losing what separates us from them."

Tonks laughed, and leaned into him. "Maybe you should heed your own advice."

He smiled. "I will, only if you heed it with me."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, soaking in what they had just talked about. Tonks noticed that she felt lighter, just a bit. It helped to have talked with someone who was there and understood just as much as her.

"Thank you, Harry, for being a good friend."

"I'll always be here for you, Tonks, I'll always be your friend, we both know that."


End file.
